The Dirty Secrets of Doing Nothing -or- We're Trying to Find Softer Ways of Saying Selfishness

I was Time Magazine's Person of the Year. I cannot tell you how amazing this felt to find out. I have been trying to garner this kind of respect and publicity ever since Naven Johnson first got his name in the phonebook.

But then I was pissed. It wasn't really me... it was all of us. We were all Time Magazine's Person of the Year; which is ridiculous, lacking creativity, and a poor attempt to get me to buy a publication so that advertisers will still pay your salary that, though poor, worked etremely well. You have me pegged. Put a shiny, fake mirror on the cover and tell me how great I am and I'm all in.

We hate to say it. It is an ugly thing. We create lists and justifications to deny it. We are selfish. We are caved in upon our own selves. Others are in the margins, best-supporting roles at best.

We create a faith around whatever looks the most like who we are, where we are from, and what we look like. If we stray from that a bit, we'll eventually come back around to justify our history of self-centeredness.

We deny our own need for redemption. We think we're alright.

We tell ourselves we do what we do to eventually benefit others, but somehow never find the time. And then we die.

Our big breakthrough happens when we decide that God should be everywhere. Even though God is so easy to leave at home.

Where is God in every moment? I have begun to find him. He is there.
The funny thing about these moments is that my finding God is contengent upon my confronting others. Here we all are. Even the ones who don't look like me or think like me.

This does not work with the world I'm in.

It means I have great responsibility outside of myself... my eating and drinking and pursuing happiness.
It means I must consider other things and other world views that are uncomfortable and at the very least difficult.
It means I'm not allowed to do nothing; and nothingness tends to be my prized possession. I live for Saturdays. Try and rob me of them and watch me fight.
It means that laziness really is bad. It means that listening really is important. It means that you have value, and they have value too. No one is value-less and there is no heirarchy.

I thought it was supposed to be easy. That's the story I was sold. What is this, the bait and switch? I've been had.