Clumsily Destructive Mud-People with Hearts of Gold -or- The 1st Unmanned Attempt to Explain Humanity

All the audicity and rake-hellishness in the world could not have dreamed this post up. Somewhere in my faulty reasoning I allowed myself to write this blog by believing that if Stephen Hawking could write "A Brief History of Time," then I should be allowed to write a blogged understanding of humanity. I'm a natural competetor, and I'm no stranger to losing, so this wasn't that unreasonable of a jump to make in the world inside my head (or the small native village inside my head, which is probably a more accurate metaphor fo my inner-thoughts).

THE OVERTURE to HUMANNESS

In the beginning (as these type of narratives go), God created all this stuff. Somewhere in these days before days, God created the good-ol folks of planet Earth. Humans, we're called. Apparently, he made humans in his image, except out of dirt. (Our narrative tells us that God used dirt as a creative staple other instances, namely, mixed with spittle in order to make a blind man see... really, ask Harris Bechtol.) So, he made humans, who might be more accuratley called People of the Mud, or Mud-People for short.

Here's the kicker:

Mud-People were just interesting stacks of mud until God breathed some type of "breath of the cosmos" or something into the mud caverns inside our mud chests, called the Lungs. I believe that at this point, we humans had quite a coughing fit as our first act of humanity. We were trying to expel all of the loose dirt from our now-living mud-lungs. (And later, we'd invent cough syrup, quite by accident from stuff that we usually used to "get liquored up").

On top of the Breath of the Cosmos, God cooked up something real interesting in order to "keep things real" with humanity. He gave us choice. Not a choice, or the choice, but Choice.

Ed. Note: Predestination can go take a flying leap off of the edge of the Grand Canyon, and do us all a favor.

This "choice" thing was a lot of responsibility for people only newly made from mud, and we didn't handle it very well. Curiosity killed the cat, and it sure as hell didn't do too much for the rest of us. By and by, the snake started making a lot of sense and we decided we'd like a straight answer on what this is all REALLY about. Fruit came from the mud, we came from the mud; the obvious kinship made it easy on our stomachs. The fruit was overly-sweet and we became aparty to this mess that is good and evil and right and wrong and whose-version-of-right and whose-version-of-wrong, and other basic, frustrating complications of living and living well.

End Part 1. To be continued... (this blog will be wisely posted in managable chunks in order to maintain readership... a readership, I might add, who are complete slaves to time... thanks for fracturing my train of thought for YOU.)